The following is a transcript of Gracie’s conversation with Mary Helen
GRACIE
We’re all in the family, next. The families we build are just as important as the ones we are born into, and my guest today is here to break it down. She’s a doctor, author, healer, speaker, and a mentor to moi. She’s joining us all the way from Ireland. Please welcome to “Transcend” Dr. Mary Helen Hensley.
MARY HELEN
Hello, girl!
GRACIE
Welcome to “Transcend,” Doc, how are you?
MARY HELEN
Happy for so many reasons to be on this show with you today.
GRACIE
Mary Helen and I, one day I was shopping in Ross, and I’m minding my business, and I’m on my phone and this lady behind me, she’s like, “Are you a model?” And I’m like, “No.” This is at the time when I was hairstyling, and she’s like, I said, “I’m a hairstylist.” She said, “No, you’re a model.” And I’m like, “Okay.” So we just, like, hit it off. We started having a conversation, and she just, I guess she felt that something was going on, and she was like, “Here, I want you to take down my number. “I want you to come see me. “I want to do a healing session with you.” And I was looking like, I don’t even know her from a can of spray paint, and I went home and I was like, very hesitant, but something in my spirit kept telling me to reach out and to go. So I go and she gives me this sound frequency healing. This was the first time that I had ever had it done, and from that moment, it has immediately and instantly changed my life. Sound frequency healing has now become one of the biggest tools in my life in my healing process now. I listen to sound frequency every night before I go to, every night while I’m sleeping. It’s just, but beside that, the greater thing is that I received a mentor, a sister, a loved one, a dear one, who has been by my side, and been a very good life coach, mentor, that I get for free in my life, so I’m just happy to have this moment with you.
MARY HELEN
Oh, gosh, so am I. You know, and it’s so funny that, there we were standing in that line, and I was over working in LA, and I was out of underwear, and I had to go into the shop and buy some underwear and you, I think you were returning curtains or something, and you were right there in front of me, and part of what I do, you know, you mentioned I’m an author and a healer, I’m a metaphysical healer, and following a car crash in 1991, I came back altered, and one of those things that, I just know stuff. You know, like, you know, I have fun and I know stuff. But I can interact with and see the energy field, and when I walked into your space, I always refer to myself lovingly as an agent of providence, because what I do, you know, as a healer, any healer worth their salt, we’re just wiping the window clean so that people can see out for themselves, and as an agent of providence, I stood in your energy in that moment and I went, oh, she’s just a tiny bit offtrack. Let me just go tick, tick, and knock her this way just a little bit, and that’s what I do, and I might do it in Ralph’s, in the supermarket. I could do it down the Walmart, I could do it in the gas station. It doesn’t matter, it was just that moment where I went, oh, my gosh, you are literally five steps away from your greatness.
GRACIE
I’m so grateful, and you’re family. Speaking of family, what does family mean to you?
MARY HELEN
Well, yeah, I mean, you know exactly what family means to me. Like, you are the godmother of my two girls, and, Jemma Skye and Jada, and it was instant. It was, you know, the family you have by blood, that’s the group that you’re born into to really work through and expand and understand. The family that you’re born into is the group that you’re gonna come in and really find out who you are, why you’re here, the lessons you have to work through, and then there is the family that you choose, and that’s the really exciting part of life, when you come across these amazing souls that you go, “No, I choose you.” And, like, that moment that you and I met, it was, “I choose you,” because I love who you are. I love the energy that you are bringing to the table. I love what I see that you’re going to bring to the world, and I choose to be in that energy, and that’s what family means to me. You know, it’s not about just the, “Oh, that’s my brother and my sister.” Yeah, there’s that blood bond that you can have with people, but as a lot of people know that, just because you’re born into the same family with somebody doesn’t mean that your value systems are in alignment. It means that if they’re not, part of the gift that they bring to you is the ability for you to figure out that you need to work your way out of that group and find your tribe.
GRACIE
I feel like blood is thicker than water, but blood is not thicker than peace, and we all know that there are a lot that goes with that, and there’s a lot to unpack. I value family over everything, however, the reality of it is is that we all experience dysfunctional dynamics, abuse, betrayal within our family, and we’re always saying, “But it’s still your family. “It’s still your family.” How harmful can that be to someone who is experiencing discord?
MARY HELEN
It, you know, it depends on what way they’re choosing to take on the experience, because if someone is stuck in a cycle of victimhood, let’s say, then they’ve experienced trauma within the family unit, and rather than seeing it as an opportunity for growth, they are stuck in the, well, it’s, you know, “That happened to me, that happened to me,” and it becomes a, “I can’t be x, y, or z “because of this trauma from my family.” Then it’s a problem, and that can be extraordinarily damaging to people, and I see that all the time in my healing work. Consequently, I also see people who go, “Okay, that happened within that family unit, “and I get it and I see “that only a soul that loved me so deeply “could have come into this incarnation “and played the role of my abusive father, “or my mother or my sister or my brother. “Only a soul that loved me so much “could have come in and taken on that role, “forgotten who and what we really are “in order to allow me to grow into this space of empowerment “because of what they did.” You know, not in spite of it, but because of it, and that’s what family really is.
GRACIE
What would you say to someone who’s having a tough time navigating that? Like, how, what advice would you give them?
MARY HELEN
Well, I mean, that’s literally on the platter for me every single day. It is the family dynamic, and especially, you know, here in Ireland, it’s really funny because this is still a bit of an old-school society where you’ve got, this one is coming in and families are squabbling over the will and the land and the sheep and the cattle, and it’s still very real for them, and so it’s been really funny to kinda go back to the roots of these kind of very basic and primal arguments between brothers and sisters and, “I can’t believe Dad died “and left all this on my shoulders!” You know, and it’s been really interesting, working from a healing perspective, of seeing how these dynamics actually can be forged, and the absolute, the opportunity for such deep anger and trauma to develop, but also, the opportunity for growth. You know, it’s an incredible dynamic.
GRACIE
I’m grateful, my mother, of course, we all, she was my biggest support system, and my two nephews, however, I did not really receive that same love and nurturing as you talk about and as you share. People really seeing you, people really wanting you to be your best self and not keeping you held captive in the cycle of the family trauma, and I feel like right now, collectively, we’ve been going through generational healing. Would you agree to that?
MARY HELEN
Absolutely I would, and something I would say to people is, well, is, if you are so comfortable within that dynamic, and there was something else in the world waiting for you, but your family dynamic was so good and so easy and so comfortable, why on Earth would you leave it? So sometimes that trauma and that pain that pushes the birdie out of the nest is because that birdie needs to fly, and if everything is perfectly perfect at home, and they’re feeling loved and supported and they don’t go out and find that love and support first inside of themselves-
GRACIE
Let’s start there.
MARY HELEN
Yeah, it is an inside job, and this idea that, “Oh, well, my mother didn’t love me enough,” I come from, you know Mama Helen. She loved the bones of you, girl, and she’s 92 years old, and that woman is still learning, and it’s amazing to me, from someone who is, she’s so loving and so giving, and she doesn’t, like, she walks the talk, and she will tell you, herself, that her very British mother and her very proper upbringing, her mom never said “I love you” out loud until she was, you know, close to death.
GRACIE
Wow.
MARY HELEN
And that was just not their dynamic. It was a very kind of prim and proper. Now, did my mom know she was loved? Sure, but was there an expression of love? There was not. And so, there are many people who experience that in many different ways. You know, my father was a tough love guy. You know, he was a motivational speaker, and so everything, my girls’ll tell you, I picked up a lot of that in that, if I need to talk about something, I’m gonna talk it to death because we’re communicators, and that’s how we communicate and how our love. That’s our love language. There are some people who, it’s gift-giving. There are some people that it is big hugs and kisses, or there are other who, turning up to watch that kid’s soccer game. That is their connection.
GRACIE
Speaking of healing, you’ve written books like “Promised by Heaven,” “Understanding is the New Healing,” and “Bringing Death to Life.” What led you to write the children’s book “Hugh and the Manatee”?
MARY HELEN
Oh, my goodness. Well, you’re a very big part of that, believe it or not, and it was really important to me. “Hugh and the Manatee” is the first in a series of preteen gender identity books, and so, you know, I, my oldest daughter is bisexual, and, you know, their godmother, you, is trans, and I’m going, “Hey, what was it like?” You and I were having a conversation, I don’t even know if you remember it, years ago, and I was like, “Do you ever remember “being able to see someone like you, “or someone who felt like you?” And you said, “No, there was nothing!” And I went, well, you’re an author. Yoo-hoo, instead of sitting around going, “Why hasn’t somebody written that?” You need to go write that book, and so that’s “Hugh and the Manatee,” and this was very exciting for me because my nephew, Max, this was kind of to celebrate his coming out, as well. It was amazing to have that become a family affair. So something as important as his coming out, his being able to contribute to something that’s gonna be so important to him, his life, his community, and then, me as the auntie coming along going, hey, I want every single child out there to be able to find the representation of themself in a children’s book.
GRACIE
I love that full-circle family moment. We have the power to not only create our career, create our love, but we have the power to create our family, and I’m so grateful that I have had the drawings and the writings of you within it. Thank you so much for being here today, sharing your light, your teachings, and all that you do. Thank you for being in my life. All the love and gratitude to and for you, Mary Helen.
MARY HELEN
You are my absolute love. Thank you.
GRACIE
To watch this episode again, or for more stories like these, check out our website at pluslifemedia.com, and make sure to follow us @PlusLifeMedia. Until next time, cherish your family, celebrate your family, and create the family you wish to see in this world.