Multi talented artist Tony Enos talks about living as a two spirit HIV+ performer.
The following is a transcript of the conversation between Karl and Tony.
TONY
I’ll never do this again. I’ll never stay closeted.
KARL
Welcome to “+Talk” on Plus Life, we’re all about turning positive into a plus. My guest today, and I’m gonna read it so I get it right, has been hailed as “An example of possibility for people living with HIV.” That’s what The Advocate magazine said. Hey, Tony Enos, good to see you.
TONY
It’s wonderful to see you. Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate you.
KARL
Of course. Thank you for all you do. I mean, I’ve got notes upon notes here about all the great stuff you do, whether it’s being a singer-songwriter, and all of that, but your activism. But I wanna go back, in July in 2020, you decided to publicly disclose your status and you did it through your music. Why then and why through your music?
TONY
This year was my 17 year postversary, so HIV has been living with me for 17 years. I’m the boss, I’ll always be the boss. That particular year I had performed at the United States Conference on AIDS in Washington, D.C., wonderful, affirming space. And I decided, you know, it’s something I kinda closeted myself about for years, because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to work. So did the conference, stayed in the closet, and on the way home, literally as we left the conference, I was like, “This was so stupid. I’ll never do this again. I’ll never stay closeted in an affirming, safe space.” And I felt as though I had missed so many opportunities. But then it really sort of became the catalyst for me and my creative team at the time to talk about like, “So maybe this is the time, and what would it look like if I were to come out about it, how would I do it?” And you know, music has always been my ceremony. It’s how I heal, it’s how I love, it’s how I experience divine love and divine source. And so I said, “Well, it should be through music.” And then sort of just by happenstance I happened to write the title song, “Positive” one night coming home from the grocery store. And I thought, well, I guess there’s no turning back, you know, this is it. And so I really wanted the album, the positive, as it’s called, Positive album, to uplift the living with HIV experience.
KARL
You are indigenous Cherokee Two-Spirit. When you share this status, I wanna dive in on that a little bit in your community, because we don’t talk about that a lot. What’s the reaction like to people living with HIV in the indigenous communities in this country?
TONY
The response overall and has been an affirming one and a loving one. And you have to remember, there’s almost 600 state and federally recognized tribes, not to mention those who are reclaiming, going after recognition. So we’re not just one monolith. There’s different, you know, tribal nations. And so in that, there’s different ceremonies, there’s different songs, just different traditions for how someone is welcomed in after sharing something so deeply personal. So I’ve seen wonderful, healing things happen.
KARL
How were you welcomed in with sharing something so personal?
TONY
They threw tomatoes at me. No. Everyone was wonderful. Thank God. The experience was, you know, the actual happening is never as bad as the anxiety that you have about it. And I was very, very ready to take those bullets and those sort of arrows that I thought were going to be shot at me. But everyone was really wonderful.
KARL
As I said in the intro there, you’ve been hailed as “An example of possibility for people living with HIV,” by Advocate magazine. What does that kind of recognition mean to you and what you do?
TONY
It’s very humbling and very sweet and very generous of the writer who wrote that article to say that. If somebody deems me worthy of even a hint of that for them, that I can offer some kind of motivation or empowerment, then it’s all worth it, it’s a blessing.
KARL
So how do you hope that your influence, you know, whether it’s through your music or what you do on social media, that that can help, say other people, whether they’re growing up in Philly or other places that are struggling, how do you hope they can relate to it?
TONY
So really giving people language, and I do that more or less through music, to have agency over themselves and over their body and really make decisions for what’s healthiest for them. And if that’s somebody living with HIV.
KARL
And I know you do that as well also, because you’re U=U ambassador, and sort of just tying it back to, you know, we know that in this country that perhaps the U=U message doesn’t resonate so well in Black and Brown communities. Have you had any experience in the indigenous community in communicating what U=U means? And have you experienced sort of, whether it positive or negative feedback, from indigenous communities? Are they embracing that message? Is it being heard?
TONY
My experience wasn’t one where I grew up on the reservations. I didn’t make it out to experience what that experience is like until much later in my adult life. And I say all that to say, sometimes there’s a little lag in information and it’s intentional, you know, by the establishment. People are put on reservations intentionally to experience lack and struggle, and so information is no different. I think the most dangerous attitude that I’ve experienced is when people, you know, they have a AIDS-phobic attitude and they say, “That’s not our disease, that came here.” Yes, but it’s here now and it’s in our communities now. And you make it a very unsafe environment by verbalizing that in a public forum. So that was perhaps the most dangerous and kind of alarming attitude to combat in the indigenous community in the beginning. For me, I can only speak for myself and my experiences.
KARL
Tony Enos, thank you for taking the time to join me on “+Talk” today. It’s been a real treat meeting you.
TONY
My pleasure. Thank you so much. Thank you for all you do.
KARL
I appreciate that. That is gonna do it for this episode. If you wanna check out Tony’s music, we’ll put up information when we post this. But you can also visit the website PlusLifeMedia.com, or follow us across social media platforms. We are @PlusLifeMedia. We’ll put all of Tony’s great music. You can check him out on social media, follow the links there. Until next time, be nice to one another. We’ll see you soon. Bye-bye.