The following is a transcript of Ask Gracie Anything.
Gracie Cartier:
You asked and I’m answering next. Welcome back to Transcend. I’m excited for today’s episode as the roles are reversed and she loves a good reversal. I’m in the hot seat, answering your questions from a place of my personal perspective. This should be fun and interesting. I want to get as many answers quickly and as efficiently as I can. So, let’s go.
Gracie Cartier:
“Hi, I recently broke up with my boyfriend and with places opening back up, I’m ready for a hot girl summer. I just want to hook up with hot guys with no attachment. Is that bad?” Charmaine, who’s just looking for a bang from San Diego. I honestly would take the word bad out of your vocabulary when it comes to your feelings. We are coming out of a year of being locked up, cooped up in a house with no contact. So of course, this is about to be the horniest summer in history with everyone coming back out. You will not be the only hot girl nor will you only be the hot boy that’s trying to have a good summer. I would say, get your life as long as you are protecting yourself, as long as you are doing whatever you want to do to prevent yourself from creating another life. Just take care of yourself and girl, have at it.
Gracie Cartier:
Our next question is from one of my East Coast sisters, Jessica from New Jersey. Jessica says, “I just recently began my transition and I’m having doubts about some of my features, and it’s been making me stress out and feel pressure about getting surgery to look and feel more like a woman. What advice do you have for me?” In all honesty, there’s going to always be a feature about ourselves that’s going to remind us of our past self or make us see ourselves in a way that we don’t want to or that we deem not a woman.
Gracie Cartier:
I would like to share with you a little bit of, for me, it was my beard. It was the fact that I had big feet. It was the fact that I spoke in a lower voice. I always felt very insecure and very doubtful about my transition because of that. The reality of it is there are sis women who have big feet, they are sis women who grow facial hair, there are sis women who also speak with the low voice. I think that society has told us what makes a woman and that’s not what it’s about. I would also say that surgery does not just make you a woman. I feel like you should focus on your transition in terms of your spiritual self, your mental self, your psychological self.
Gracie Cartier:
Focus and work on that first on the inside, so that all of the outer dressings just come as icing on the cake and not the actual cake, because if you’re not mentally ready, if you’re not spiritually ready, even physically ready, because the last thing you want to do is you want to get into your body. You want to feel your body before feeling like you had these attachments. Womanhood, it’s an inner strength, it’s an inner power, it’s an inner courage. You also don’t want to go out and run and get breasts, and then it’s like, you didn’t even give your body enough time to relax, the muscles to relax. You don’t want like titty tennis balls sitting in your chest. That’s the lesson you want. So take your time. All of that is going to come in time, but just focus on your mental, focus on your spiritual and just focus on working on the womanhood that is within you.
Gracie Cartier:
Oh, we got a question from one of my Philly sisters, Tamika. “Girl, how does your Jeuge stay so fly? What’s your secret?” Well, I flew out of the wound fly. I’ve had two very stylish, amazing parents who was very stylish. I grew up in a family where it was all about style, it was all about a look, it was all about just getting dressed and just feeling your best. But I would say my personal secret, it honestly is a lot of prayer, a lot of meditation, a lot of staying in my lane, a lot of minding my business, a lot of showing love, showing support, showing up for others. I would say that that’s my little jeuge secret. I hope it works for you as well and for those out there watching.
Gracie Cartier:
Jake from New York would like to know, “I’m a gay man who hates the word [inaudible 00:04:16] and it triggers me when I hear my friends play around and say it. How do you feel about it?” Jake, I personally, I know what you mean and I know what you feel when you say it triggers you. I totally understand it and it’s totally valid. Then again, we live in a time where, for me, the word [inaudible 00:04:43], growing up, it was a word that was used to cut and hurt and tear down and just really make you question your existence and question your being. I’ll never forget growing up in high school and that’s where a lot of my people pleasing tendency came from because the moment I did something that they didn’t like, the moment I said something that they didn’t agree with, the first word that they would say would be ____ and it would cut me to my core.
Gracie Cartier:
I went around and I walked through life just carrying that people pleasing mentality because if even it’s not that word, it could be another word, or it could be something else, or it can just mean not being liked. I grew this people pleasing mentality because of that word. Now, I’m in a space that I have taken full power of that word. And I too, at times, not at times when I’m with my loved ones, when I’m with my close, immediate circle, I do, I use it in a way of, it’s a term of endearment. For me, when it comes to the word ____, it’s a Kiki to me, but I understand that it can be used to hurt.
Gracie Cartier:
We live in a time to where those some may be sensitive as yourself to where though it triggers you. I think that you have sit with your triggers and you have to examine your triggers and you have to heal yourself from your triggers because although you can hold a boundary with your friends and how it makes you feel, your friends are also not responsible to do the emotional labor and do the emotional work that it takes for you to be comfortable and to be in a space when the word comes up. That’s how I feel about it, Jake.
Gracie Cartier:
Amber from Long Beach would like to know, “What’s next for Gracie?” Well, Amber, I live my life. I live in open book. What you see is what you get. However, I have learned to understood the importance of keeping some things for yourself. Also, I’m a person instead, I don’t like to talk about it. I like to just do it. I would just have to say, Amber, just stay tuned to what’s to come.
Gracie Cartier:
Our next question is from Lily in the Valley. “I recently just lost a loved one and I’ve watched the show on how you spoke about the loss of your mother. What advice or what could you say to someone who’s going through grief right now?” I always say that as unfortunate as it is, we are in a space now that we have to learn how to take this pain and transmute it into love. I say that because I’m in another level and another stage of healing with my mom. I’m noticing right now, I’m crying. It’ll be two years and I’m crying more now than I did when it first happened and within the first year. It’s like this new wave of grief is coming and it’s hitting me, but the more and more I lean into so much of that pain, I’m seeing how my external world is beginning to change and change for the better.
Gracie Cartier:
I hate to say it, but I’m asking myself, it’s like, was it some sort of sacrifice or is it that our loved ones can help us a bit more on the other side than in the physical, in the spiritual, then they can when they were here in the physical existence? These are the questions that I’ve been asking myself because I never in a million years would have thought that with me being in the space of losing my mom, that I would be the happiest that I’ve ever been. It’s so weird how you can feel the spectrums of grief and sadness and pain, but also joy and light and love.
Gracie Cartier:
I know you miss them because I miss my mommy so much. I miss my mommy so much, but I’m so grateful. I’m so grateful because I see a new day in my life, the life that I’ve always dreamed of. We have to learn how to lean into this pain and lean into this grief and transmute it into something beautiful and powerful. Lilly, I send my love to you and your family because I know what it feels like, and it brings up so much of the other ugly stuff that goes on with the loss of a loved one. My heart truly goes out to you and to anyone who is still maintaining living life with the loss of their best friends, their soulmates, their family, their friends, their pets, anything that has meant anything to them. I just send you love and healing.
Gracie Cartier:
Oo la la, I don’t know about you guys, but I enjoyed today’s show. I mean, let me find out the ex Gracie or Gracie after dark is the vibe. Let me find out. Move over Howard Stern, there’s a new bitch in town. Watch this episode again, check out our website at pluslifemedia.com and make sure to follow us at +Life Media. Until the next time, feel the jeuge, feel the love and feel the fire.