His story will leave you speechless. Find out what drove Actor, Author, Colton Haynes to create his own path and to share his truth! Miss Memory Lane can be found here.

Watch this episode of +Talk now. Transcript below.

COLTON
It was mental warfare.

KARL
Hello there, welcome to “+Talk” on +Life, where we’re all about turning positive into a plus. Recently I had the chance to sit down with actor, Colton Haynes, who has a new memoir out, “Miss Memory Lane.” And while Colton is not living with HIV, he certainly knows what it is like when you’re knocked down and have to get back up again. Here’s our chat. Tell me about the title, “Miss Memory Lane.” Where does that title come from?

COLTON
Well, so it’s a nickname that was given to me years back, and it stuck, because I tend to be the friend that likes to emotionally and nostalgically hold my friends hostage, so I definitely am constantly sending way too many pictures, way too many videos, and so “Miss Memory Lane” stuck from that.

KARL
I think it’s fair to say you have turned pain into purpose with this book.

COLTON
Yeah, I really wanted to just, I had a lot to get off my chest, and I wanted to put all of this into something that could be useful for people and also for me, I just wanted to put it on the shelf, so I can start new chapters in my life.

KARL
How was the process and how long was the process for you in delving back?

COLTON
Ooh, I grew up and also have watched a lot of other press tours from other people who’ve written memoirs, and I was under the impression that I was gonna, I don’t know, go to the Alps in some cabin and write on a typewriter and have this amazing experience. It was not that. It was mental warfare. And the process of writing it was extremely difficult for me, because I didn’t sleep a lot. But once I took two months away from it and actually was able to realize what I had done, it was such a magical experience for me, because all the hard work definitely felt like it paid off for me.

KARL
You put the reader right there in the moment with you and your use of language and your use of words, it’s phenomenal, quite frankly, it was surprising, and I think there’s a lot in this book that is surprising for anyone who just knows Colton, the TV guy, or as you said, you’ve always felt that you’ve lived your life, or you’ve been seen through the lens of other people.

COLTON
My passion’s always been writing. That’s what I was gonna go to school for, and then I ended up moving to LA, and through feeling like I had to channel a lot of my emotions just on the page for myself to get it out over the years, I have just so many things to draw from. And so, once I really dove back into my journals and everything, and once I was like, you know what, they’re not gonna censor me. I’m just gonna gonna be me and speak from my heart, then it all just started flying on the page.

KARL
Coming out of this, what are some of the things you’ve really learned about yourself in reflection going back and looking at this life?

COLTON
I think my vulnerability is something that I’ve always been… You know, people always give me a hard time for it, and people are always asking me why I would feel like I’m sharing certain things and why I never have a problem really speaking how I feel. And I guess I don’t understand why other people wouldn’t, because it really helps me to share my story, and I can’t do small talk. Small talk is something that I just kind of load small talk. So I’m always like, “Okay, let’s get to the real, “let’s get to the real,” and I think that that’s off-putting for some people. But I think that that’s something I’ve learned, that I shouldn’t hold back my vulnerability and my sensitivity.

KARL
There’s certainly parts of the book that I can relate to as someone who was a victim of child sexual abuse and sexualized at a very young age, and a lot of your early sexual experiences, I could really relate to that. And it’s funny that you say that when you put stuff out there, and people might get a little bit whoa about it, but I think for people like us, it’s a way of processing perhaps that trauma, and it is shocking to people. I talk about my sexual abuse as a very young boy, and people are like, “Oh my God,” and I’m like, “No, but it’s so weird. “Yes, it’s shocking, but I lived it,” and in the moment what was going on was not this horrible thing. I thought I was playing a game.

COLTON
I think that it’s really, when you’re someone who’s gone through it, you are entitled to how you’re going to feel about it, and I think that that’s something that is really important to remember, because I’ve had people try to tell me just how to feel about certain things, and that’s where I have to go, you didn’t actually experience that, and I’m writing from a place of, like you said, the thoughts of when you were a child and not the innocence and not really knowing. And obviously now I’ve grown up, and I realize that not only that experience as a kid, but also a lot of the sexual things that I’d gone through through my teens were not something that I should have gone through.

KARL
I think we were rewarded in when that happened to us at a young age, it was either a little secret, so that made it something rewarding. This is our thing that nobody else knows about, and in a way that gave you a sense of power, cool, especially if you’re a kid, like you mentioned in the book, that wants to be noticed and wants to be accepted. I was the youngest brother of two older brothers who were six and eight years older than me, and my parents were really busy. So when someone older than me took an interest in me and said, “This is gonna be our little thing,” suddenly it was cool, right?

COLTON
Yeah, and it definitely created some patterns that I have really had to unpack and try to fix is that secrecy that you speak of, it really is something that can be a little emotionally intoxicating, and I think that that is something, especially when I was in the closet, that was something that it did feel like it was mine, and it was my outlet and no one would know about the things I was doing behind the scenes. I guess I’m not like a mega star, but it is hard. It’s uncomfortable for me to go either try to meet people or go out to places, ’cause it’s hard for me, ’cause the whispers, and I feel like I’m doing a meet and greet. People get the impression that I just am always crying and always an extremely depressed person, and that’s definitely not me. I’m just able to access and speak about things, certain emotions that a lot of people don’t speak about, and I think it’s because I know that it does connect with people, and that’s something that really helps me. It’s not just selfish. I’m trying to help other people as well, but in doing that, it definitely helps me.

KARL
Well, and in doing interviews like this and indeed the book, we can ingest this in our own private time. For you, what’s the gratification like, or what’s the feeling like when you get that feedback from somebody so far off the grid and who’s read the book and reaches out and is courageous enough to reach out to you?

COLTON
It’s what’s so special for me whenever people actually do either write a review or do reach out to me, because in writing this, I didn’t think it was gonna strike such a chord with the people who have actually read it. But I think the people that really understood where I was coming from, it’s been extremely emotional. My doctor that I talk about in the book, we were just texting and basically he had said, “There’s been multiple people that have come in “and said, ‘Have you read ‘Miss Memory Lane?'” And to hear the reaction and the heartfelt emotional response to it has just been… I don’t know, I feel like this book for me, it feels like it’s gonna have a long life, and I hope that it reaches the people who need it, and I really hope that it really helps give other people a voice who feel like they’ve just been silenced.

KARL
In doing this, do you feel like beyond Colton Haynes, the actor, the performer, the artist, the writer, you found a new voice perhaps in the world of activism?

COLTON
To have something like that as a title, it doesn’t feel earned, because I really still have a lot of work to do on that front, but I think to have these younger actors and people who are reaching out to me saying that my coming out story or my HRC speech or things like that have helped them, it’s nice to feel like I’m making a difference even though I think this has given me something else to really, really be proud of and also to pursue, because the opportunities are not the same that they used to be, and I think a lot of that has to do with me being outspoken. And I think that the more I’m able to really step into that, I think it can really help the generation coming up who’s still facing a lot of the problems with getting opportunities in this industry.

KARL
Yeah, well, and I’m a big believer in visibility matters. We talk about representation all the time, but when people can see and they know that what they’re seeing is like them, it helps. Let’s shift gears real quick. “Teen Wolf,” you’re reprising the role for the movie, huh?

COLTON
We just finished the movie a couple weeks back, and we got to go back to Atlanta where we started, and we got to be with almost all of the original cast, and it was so special, because you hear casts say like, “Oh, we’re a family,” and it’s BS a lot of time, but this is legit. We’ve been family for almost 13 years, I think. And so, some of us have even lived together. And so, getting to be back with that with them on set has just been so incredible. And I mean so many more memories to come, and also, yeah, I think it comes out. They haven’t told us. They’re definitely not gonna tell me, because I’ll tell people whenever I’m not supposed to, so I know it’s gonna come out this year.

KARL
Well, Colton Haynes, we look forward to it. The book is “Miss Memory Lane.” It is out now. Do yourself a favor, read it. And, Colton, just honestly, thank you so much for being so out there, so vulnerable, so on the page and writing it in such a beautiful way. It’s been great chatting to you.

COLTON
Thank you, and thank you for sharing your story with me too, I appreciate it.

KARL
That is gonna do it for this episode of “+Talk.” If you want more information about the book and what we’ve talked about today, be sure to follow us on social media. We are @PlusLifeMedia or check out the website, pluslifemedia.com. Until next time, good seeing you, we’ll see you soon, bye-bye.