This is how TikTok star, Marnina The Queen made the best of her situation…

Watch this episode of +Talk now. Transcript below.

MARNINA
Now I’m starting to live and really thrive in these spaces, and I’m really happy that I turned my lemons into lemonade.

KARL
Welcome to Plus Talk on Plus Life, where we’re all about turning positive into a plus. And today we’re talking about HIV and destigmatizing it. And who better to join me to do all of that than Marnina Miller, otherwise known as Marnina The Queen. Hey there, Marnina, how are you?

MARNINA
Hey, how are you doing today, Karl?

KARL
I’m doing very well, thank you. And all the better for seeing you, Marnina. Thanks for joining us today. Now, you are known as Marnina The Queen of TikTok, and I’ve gotta say, you use this platform amazing. You really dismantled the stigma that surrounds HIV. When did you discover that TikTok and Marnina and HIV all worked really well together?

MARNINA
Ooh, it’s been a long time coming. So I originally didn’t start off on TikTok, I originally started doing activism work about seven years ago. And I got into this space because I was dealing with my own diagnosis and I didn’t see that support groups were a thing for me. I wasn’t really a support group person. And so once I found advocacy, I really found my tribe and I found people that were living with HIV that were thriving, living these amazing lives and so I started doing activism, and from there as a younger person, as a Gen Z, I was like, I’ma hop on TikTok and talk about my status and see what people say. And from there, folks have had so many amazing questions. And of course, there are stigma on there as well. Some people are just gonna be rude. But for the most part, folks have been so kind.

KARL
Yeah and I wanna get to your advocacy in a second, but I wanna talk a little bit more about using TikTok, because you’ve described TikTok as a space for younger folks and you to share some of the comments you receive. What is some of the feedback that you get from people all over the world in all different walks of life when they watch your content?

MARNINA
So some people wanna know what were my symptoms, what are some of the symptoms of HIV. They wanna know how HIV is transmitted. They also really wanna know how do I live my everyday life? I do a thing called the Day In The Life Of A Baddie Living with HIV. And I show my outfits, I talk about how my day is normal, and the only thing that separates my day from theirs is a once a day medication that I have to take to control my HIV.

KARL
Does it surprise you that in this day and age people are even asking how one gets HIV?

MARNINA
It is. There’s so much information out here. But what I do know is that we live in such a sexualized world, like sex cells and it’s all on TV, but people are not talking to their children about sex. And so because of that, because of like this stigma around talking about sex, people still don’t have correct knowledge about how HIV is transmitted. I mean, you got all these laws that are still outdated around HIV as well. So people really don’t know all of the different ways that HIV is transmitted unfortunately, still to this day, even though we’re 40 years into the HIV epidemic in the United States.

KARL
Yeah, you make a really good point there. We’re very much a sexualized culture. Sex is everywhere, but we don’t talk about it. It’s still kind of the biggest taboo. It’s kind of weird, isn’t it?

MARNINA
It is so weird. And I am very sex positive, which sex positivity for me means all sex is good sex as long as it’s healthy and consensual. And I really feel like people should have pleasure in sex. And we aren’t even talking to younger folks when we talk about sex ed. We just say, Oh, wear a condom or birth control, but we need to be talking about sex should be pleasurable. And if it’s not, you need to be talking to your partner about why you’re not getting that pleasure.

KARL
I love that. So how do you deal with the haters or the stigma when you do get it? And what are some of your go-tos for dealing with that? Because look, it still hurts even when you’re out and proud, right?

MARNINA
It does. You know, they say sticks and stones may break your bones and words never hurt. That’s not true. Folks are dying every day from HIV stigma, and it’s not necessarily the medications anymore or the HIV, it’s the stigma that’s killing people. And so I just focus on people that love me, that love my content. I have so many newly diagnosed people reaching out to me. And so when I do get a hater, sometimes I’ll make a little video and laugh at them, or I’ll just focus on the people that really need my help. And so I know that there is more love out there than hate and so I try to feed off of that love.

KARL
You know, I gotta say, your energy is so contagious. You talked a little bit about support groups when you were diagnosed about nine years ago, I think. How did you go about finding those resources when you were first diagnosed?

MARNINA
Well, to be honest with you, Karl, I really didn’t. When I first got my diagnosis, my initial reaction was to ignore it. I was like, I’m not gonna deal with it, I’m not gonna even think about me living with HIV. But I was able to go on and eventually with the help of my family, find a HIV treatment doctor. And from there they got me into mental health therapy. And my mental health therapist was like, Hey, I think these support groups are pretty cool. You should join it. And at first I was reluctant to do so, but I joined the support group and I was like, Oh, this isn’t for me. And someone at the support group said, Hey, you should try this advocacy course and that’s how I got into activism.

KARL
Activism. And is that the Positive Organizing Project? Is that the course you’re talking about?

MARNINA
So actually it is. Positive Organizing Project was that launch pad for me.

KARL
Okay, so tell me a bit more about that organization then and how that works, and obviously it’s worked for you and how it might work for somebody who’s newly diagnosed today.

MARNINA
So it’s actually a grant through AIDS United, and Positive Organizing Project taught people living with HIV how to be HIV activists. And when I got into that space, this amazing woman that talks about her status publicly named Venita Ray. She’s an older black woman, who had locks at the time and she was just thriving and she does yoga, just a real cool chick. And I was like, Oh, if she can do it, I can do it. ‘Cause I’m looking at a woman in her 50s and at the time I was in my early 20s and I was like, Oh, if she can do it and talk about her status publicly, I can do it as well. And there was so many other women and men that were in those spaces that really loved on me, who were long term survivors and they really showed me the game and how I could best be an advocate and advocate even for myself at times. And so that’s how I was able to thrive in that group.

KARL
I’m curious because I know your backstory with how you contracted HIV, and it was with someone who knew that they were positive, if I’ve got that right. So for me, that would kind of make me crazy. I would be like, lock ’em up, throw away the key. How dare they. But now that you’ve had time in this space and you are working in advocacy, what’s your view as someone who’s contracted HIV through a partner who knew that they were HIV positive and didn’t talk to you about it?

MARNINA
So I talked about it a little bit on TikTok. This is where I got my most backlash from because I talked about the fact that I don’t believe in HIV criminalization. At first I did ’cause I was like, Oh, I’m angry, I’m mad. But once I got to really thinking about it, I thought about the fact that I did not make him wear a condom. And we all have to make sure that we are taking personal responsibility for ourselves. And so because of that I was like, screw this. I am going to focus on myself and making sure that no one else ends up in my situation, and making sure that we are stumping out HIV stigma because it is my belief that he didn’t come out to me about his status due to HIV criminalization and HIV stigma. And so criminalizing a social sexual disease isn’t going to end the HIV epidemic. And once I did my own research about why it wouldn’t, I was like, Yeah, I don’t believe in this. It doesn’t work. And the most people that are incarcerated due to HIV criminalization is black and brown folks. And so I was like, I don’t wanna add to mass incarceration and so I decided that that wasn’t the road I wanted to go, I wanted to make sure that I could use my voice effectively to talk about how HIV is transmitted.

KARL
Yeah, and I love that. Look, in the last few moments that I’ve got you, how has being HIV positive been a positive for you?

MARNINA
Oh, it has changed my life. I actually just came back from Hawaii. I was on a women’s retreat with cis and trans women where we were talking about organizing and social justice work. And so I’ve been able to go to so many amazing places, do so many different facilitations and talk about not only HIV criminalization, but talk about different ways HIV is transmitted. I also get to do different speaking engagements all over the world. And I also even get to go to an orphanage in Honduras with young folks that are living with HIV. And I’m also working HIV too, full time. So HIV has changed my life for the positive. And I know that at first I was dealing with so much stigma and I was sad about my diagnosis, but now I’m starting to live and really thrive in these spaces. And I’m really happy that I turned my lemons into lemonade.

KARL
Well, we are too, and I’m grateful because it means I got to meet you and I’ve got to talk to you, sadly for not long enough though ’cause that’s all the time we’ve got. But Marnina Miller, The Queen of TikTok, thank you so much for joining me today on Plus Talk.

MARNINA
Thank you for having me, Karl.

KARL
Absolutely. Look, that’s gonna do it for this episode. If you want more information or you wanna check out Marnina, Queen of TikTok, and I highly recommend you do ’cause her content is extremely entertaining and well, just really good value, be sure to check out our website, pluslifemedia.com. And of course, you can follow us across social media platforms. We are @pluslifemedia. Until next time, Marnina The Queen of TikTok and I say, so long and we’ll see you next time.