Black and Queer Fitness business owner and Men’s Health fitness model, Tyriek Taylor, talks about his journey with #HIV and how fitness is helping him in more ways than one.

Transcript below.

TYRIEK
I know this thing just happened to you. And hear it from me, you’re not gonna feel it right away but I swear to God you’ll feel good.

KARL
Hello there. Welcome to +TALK on +LIFE, where we’re all about turning positive into a plus. So my guest today does that to perfection. He’s a fitness trainer. He’s an entrepreneur. And he’s actually a really nice guy too. It’s Coach Tyriek Taylor. How are you?

TYRIEK
Hey. What’s going on? How are you? Nice to meet you. Good to see you again.

KARL
It’s… It could be good. Come on. We know each other. I should say, I was lucky enough to be in New York a while back. I took one of Tyriek’s classes. And for someone who doesn’t like working out, he not only made it fun but challenging, and all of that. And we’ll get to the fitness stuff in a second. Let’s talk about your HIV journey. You were in a committed relationship when you found out. What were those first few days like for you when you heard that you were diagnosed, and then sort of the couple of days after that?

TYRIEK
The first few days after finding out, I didn’t ignore it. After telling the one person that I wanted to talk to about anything, I didn’t discuss it again. I kind of, I put it like way in the back of my head and just thought about like, “Okay. I’m smart enough to know I can take the pill and be fine. I know I’m gonna have to watch things differently of what I’m putting in my body. And I’m gonna have to have those monthly checkups because I’ve seen it.” And that was just the beginning stages. And then, it was time to connect with someone who I did prior to knowing my status. And this was during a break that me and my partner had. Like, I was gonna have to talk to this person. That was scary. That was the first… That was really serious, having to tell this person. “I just found out this thing. And you need to know that I have this thing.”

KARL
Has that conversation gotten easier for you over the years, that disclosure conversation?

TYRIEK
Extremely easy.

KARL
Really? Tell me how so?

TYRIEK
Extremely. I feel as though… Because the first time I had to tell somebody, the experience was so bad. It prepared for me… It prepared me for the worst that could happen when you do disclose your status. So by taking that power back, I just became open about it. I wasn’t ready to be open about it. I wasn’t sure which direction I wanted to go, but that’s how bad the experience was having to tell someone, “I just found out I was positive.” And then, from there, it allowed me to see where people were tryna place me. “Oh, you have hiv, so you’re this now or you’re that.” Like, nothing could bother… It’s like, “Yes, I have this thing. I’m healthy. I’m safe. I’m letting you know.” And that gives people the option to be like, “Hmm, I don’t feel comfortable with it.” And me to either try to educate them on it, not trying to be with them or do anything, but like, “Okay. Do you understand this? Do you understand there different ways to protect yourself? So it just became easy. Once I put it out there, I felt like I now have that power back. You can’t say anything negative about it because I’m actively telling people so people are in the know.

KARL
It’s kind of like coming out of the closet again, really. Isn’t it?

TYRIEK
Just like coming out. It is literally just like coming outta the closet.

KARL
What’s the reaction for you? Like, what do you feel like when you have that conversation and you disclose and you say, “Look, this is my deal. I’m undetectable, therefore I’m untransmittable. I’m zero risk in that regard.” And when somebody says to you, “Yeah. I just can’t do this. I’m sorry.” How do you process that? ‘Cause it’s still a form of rejection, right? And it still sucks. It still hurts when somebody does a 180 on you. How have you over time sort of processed that? And what are your steps for dealing with that kind of, quote unquote, rejection?

TYRIEK
The way I feel to it now is like, “Okay. You don’t understand it. You don’t get what it means.” And that means you only wanted one thing in the beginning. I’m not looking for that anyway. I also don’t think I would wanna be with someone who is a part of the gay community and not be aware that that’s a thing. And what you just did is also a thing, but which means, I mean, I wouldn’t wanna be with that person. I don’t wanna share anything with you. So, like, pass.

KARL
Yeah, you make a great point. What’s the conversation you have with your peer group? Do you guys talk about HIV much, whether it’s your HIV positive friends or negative friends? Are those conversations that you guys have? And if so, what do they look and sound like?

TYRIEK
They come up, not as much as they used to when I first opened up about it. The conversation at the beginning were more about like comfort. Like, “Hey, well we’re here for you. Are you okay? Like, what are the steps that you’re taking?” Conversations now, I don’t , it’s not that they’re dismissive, it is just not like a hard talk about it. It’s more so conversations about accepting people in general. Whether they’re gay, HIV positive. And speaking from a place of understanding as opposed to speaking from a place of judgment.

KARL
If you were to talk to your younger self, right, coach Tyriek, or as it says here in my notes, Ty Boogie-

TYRIEK
If you nasty.

KARL
If you’re nasty. We won’t even get into that. But if you were to have a conversation with your younger self today, what would you say to yourself?

TYRIEK
I would definitely tell myself to be patient. It’s okay to say no. Ground yourself in what you believe in ’cause you believe in it for a reason. And just keep going. And whenever you feel down, sit down by yourself. Idol. Don’t reach out to anyone who isn’t where you wanna be. Let it… Sit, manifest. And then, remember your life. Focus on your life. Focus really hard on why you started this and why you’re so passionate about it.

KARL
And is-

TYRIEK
And don’t that way.

KARL
And is that, kind of, what has led you to create Black Queer Fitness and do what you do in the fitness space? And how, if at all, maybe it hasn’t, has your experiences living with HIV sort of motivated you, I guess, or pushed you or given you a positive reinforcement to go and chase those goals that I know you’re chasing?

TYRIEK
Yes, yes, it definitely has because being healthy and your wellness, it’s not just about fitness. Fitness is a very small part of what I want to teach. Mentally, we have to be okay. And when I first found out my status, I mean, it is been three years now, this month marks three years, there’s a emotional rollercoaster of finding yourself again and understanding it’s okay to not be okay. Just like you’re not gonna smile through fitness all the time because it’s hard. So is…

KARL
Remember the workout with me, I was not smiling at all.

TYRIEK
That was coming out the closet. So it was finding out you’re positive and taking the necessary steps to protect your peace. Understand everyone’s not going get it and just be pushing.

KARL
Why do you think fitness is a good sort of outlet for people who are living with HIV and maybe kind of in a bit of a foggy, clouded headspace about who they are? Why is turning… Why would you recommend turning to fitness as a way to perhaps clear that fog and focus and help you look forward rather than dwelling on the negative that you can’t change?

TYRIEK
Exactly what you said. It’s the negative that you can’t change. What you can change is taking on something challenging. Fitness is challenging. Dealing with life is challenging. But fitness is something that you have control over. You can learn about it. You can read about it. You can hire someone to help you out with it and keep growing in fitness. And fitness has so many different things that comes in, different movements, different tools to like learn and keep growing in that. And then, the same time, you’re doing something positive for yourself. You go in there, you feel challenged, and then you finally get to this certain point and you’re like, “That feels great.” This is the one thing I had control over, and I just did it. Period. Like, I just knocked this out the frame.” And if it feels good. It feels good to go from not being able to do a pushup to bench pressing 225. That take work. That take work. It’s like dedication. It’s like understanding. It’s like learning. There’s a lot that goes into going from point A to point B. And if you can do that then you can have more focus on like, I was very depressed finding out my status. I know in the end, I’m gonna be okay. I’m gonna be okay. And it’s that middle part, getting from point A to point B that’s going to be the most challenging part. And then, once you get there, now you can share with others and be like, “Hey, I know this thing just happened to you and hearing it from me, you’re not gonna fill it right away. But I swear to God it feel real good.

KARL
So in the last couple of seconds I got your last question. For that person who’s at point A right now who might have just found out about their status or who might be thinking that they’re positive and they’re too scared to get tested because they don’t want to deal with the journey from point A to point B, if they are positive, what would be the first training tip you would give them to get up off the floor and start their journey from point A to point B so that they can get to C, D, E and F and on?

TYRIEK
Acknowledge that you have it. And this isn’t the end of your life. Which, I mean, it sounds pretty broad but sit with it, honestly. Sit with it, understand it, research about it. Like, really, really sit with it. Reach out to someone that you trust, who knows about it, who isn’t ignorant towards you who can help you see what you’re gonna have to need to see in those beginning stages, okay? You’re going to get on these meds. You’ll be undetectable. Speak to someone who’s been through it and open about it. Find someone who’s open about it to have a conversation with them ’cause they’re gonna steer you in a direction that you need as opposed to going to people who you never hear talk about it or you never hear speak on it. They’re… How they can’t speak… They won’t be able to speak to you as someone who actually has it.

KARL
Well, I appreciate your time. I appreciate you being so candid and open. Even after three years, or in my case, a lot longer, it’s still not always easy to talk about it. And that’s why we have +LIFE so that maybe someone at home can connect with something you’re saying or I’m saying or on the bigger side of things. Coach Tyriek Taylor, Ty Boogie, if you’re nasty. Thank you so much for your time mate. Really good chatting to you.

TYRIEK
Thank you for having me.

KARL
That’s gonna do it for this episode of +TALK. If you want more information, you want to check out Black Queer Fitness or any of Tyriek’s programs online, oheck out our website pluslifemedia.com. And be sure to follow us across social media platforms. We are @pluslifemedia. Until next time, stay safe, stay healthy and keep smiling. It’s not that difficult. Bye.