Sex Educator, Mariah from the popular @sexedfiles, joins us to discuss the impact of #HIVStigma and how people with #HIV can live happy, healthy lives.

You can read the transcript of Mariah’s conversation with Karl below.

MARIAH
The way that I go about sex education is really from like a comprehensive lens.

KARL
Hello there, welcome to “+TALK” on +LIFE, where we’re all about turning positive into a plus. Today we’re talking sex, we’re talking education, and who better to do that than our friend, Mariah. She is @Sexedfiles on Instagram and TikTok. Good to see you, Mariah.

MARIAH
Thank you, it’s great to see you. I’m happy to be here.

KARL
Thank you so much for the fantastic work you do, looking at your social pages. There’s no secret that in this country, and a lot of countries, we don’t like talking about sex. It makes us uncomfortable, it’s awkward, and yet it’s something that is as natural as breathing or drinking water. We all do it or like it, and we’re all here because two people did it at some point. So I appreciate how you destigmatize and really talk about it in a frank, positive, and fun, uplifting way. I want to just really touch on HIV sex education these days because we still hear a lot about how things like U=U: Undetectable = Untransmittable is not taught in schools. You work really with middle school and high school students.

MARIAH
Correct, yeah.

KARL
So talk me through about how we can change that and how you go about introducing things like U=U, PrEP, and really educating people about what HIV is, in this day and age, not what it was in 1984 when a lot of that’s what the curriculum still teaches, right?

MARIAH
Yeah, yeah, you’re right. So the curriculum that I teach, or the way that I go about sex education, is really from like a comprehensive lens. one that kind of talks about all the social and emotional impacts of sex, and the way we view sex and all of these things. And getting down to like the stigma of STIs, especially HIV. So we look at it from like a very holistic standpoint, which is really nice. So there’s the basics, right? We go through like what are STIs, what is HIV, the medical side of things, what’s happening in the body? But we do talk a lot about the impact of stigma in our society and how we view people with HIV and what the reality is, but more importantly, that it’s treatable, that it’s just a virus, and people get sick all the time. But we live in a world where medicines and treatment can make it so people can live happy and healthy lives. So we really try to break down that part of it, kind of humanize different things that people live with.

KARL
What’s the reaction like from middle school-aged students and high school students? Especially when you talk about this, ’cause I think HIV is still the big bad wolf in the room, unfortunately, even in this day and age. And I’m sure that your students have probably either not heard about it at all, because a lot of people think it’s only something that affects gay men in this country. Or what they’ve heard is the stigmatized, it’s a horrible, disgusting thing that if you go and do this and this and this, you are gonna end up getting it and you’ll die. So what’s the reaction from students when you start talking about HIV? What do they know these days?

MARIAH
Yeah, there’s still that underlying like fear, I guess you could say. And I imagine that stems from what they hear in movies or on social media or even maybe from their parents. So we do still get reactions like, that is so scary, or that’s disgusting, or that would never happen to me sort of thing, where they’re perpetuating a lot of the negative messaging or even like misinformation. So those reactions are, I would say, they’re pretty prominent in the middle school level. I feel like in high school people are a little bit more open and understanding, but in middle school there is that initial like shock and yeah, I mean they’re middle schoolers so you know, it’s with pretty much every subject, they’re silly.

KARL
So when it comes to things like U=U: Undetectable = Untransmittable, how do you break that down? How do you talk to the kids about that? And what are some tips that you might have for people who watch this who might wanna have those conversations with their kids at home who think this is something important that kids in middle age are having sex these days, that’s kind of what’s happening in this world. So how do you approach it? How do you have that first break down, that conversation?

MARIAH
Yeah, well first of all, I really love U=U: Undetectable = Untransmittable, because it gives them like a tangible understanding of what treatment can do. And I think it helps a lot of young people with, I mean like I have ADHD, it’s so easy for me to understand when you put it into like a little, not like a rhyme, but it’s in this compact thing. So it really helps with educators who go into a classroom where we can use U=U to break it down. But essentially we approach it from like, or I approach it from treatment. People can be treated for HIV and it lowers the viral load completely. And if there’s no viral load, or not completely, but so low that-

KARL
To an undetectable level.

MARIAH
Exactly. And people can still engage in sexual activity if they want to.

KARL
So you break it down, what’s their reaction like after, once that sort of information sinks in and they’ve come into the room going, oh my God, it’s so scary, I’m gonna get AIDS and I’m gonna die. And then you have these lessons and they hear about stuff like U=U. Tell me about the shift that you see in how they look at it, talk about it amongst their peers.

MARIAH
Yeah, there is a shift, there’s kind of like a relaxation. They’re like, oh, okay, so how do I know this? ‘Cause I definitely kind of support that by getting tested, like that should be prioritized, like your sexual health, ’cause it’s kind of the message behind everything that we do is like, you are entitled to care for your sexual health however you would like to, and this is one of those ways. Because if you get tested, you can know if you have an STI, if you have HIV. So yeah, there is definitely kind of like a deep breath. They’re like, “Oh, okay, so it’s not that big of a deal,” and they kind of just like brush it off.

KARL
Well, and I think it’s really important that, take the the science bit out of it, I guess, what you’re teaching is personal responsibility and that if you’re going to engage in sexual activity, A, that’s your prerogative, B, there’s nothing wrong with that, as long as it’s consenting and that you want to, that you can change your mind at any point. But if you’re gonna engage in this, here are the things that you should arm yourself with, knowledge is power, right? To make sure that you can have a safe and enjoyable sexual experience.

MARIAH
Yes, exactly, exactly.

KARL
What about PrEP? PrEP is something that’s really become a big deal in the last couple of years. Again, especially around gay men. We know that treatment as prevention we call it, really significantly lowers the risk of HIV infection. For so long people think it’s just for gay men again, it’s not, it’s for anyone who’s sexually active. Talk to me about that and and the conversations you have with the kids about PrEP.

MARIAH
Yeah, so in the HIV lesson, it’s kind of broken down, like this is HIV, here’s the stigma piece of it, how we engage with folks who have HIV, and then the prevention piece a little bit. But then also like the treatment side of things. So this is where we get into PrEP and PEP, we talk a lot about it. I think they like to access the information, where like, okay, there are options here, there are things that I could do if I wanted to prevent HIV. I think it gives them more tools in their basket or just having more options. And sex ed does a lot of that, just gives you more to pull from if needed.

KARL
What was it about this field that made you go, “I know, I want to teach this for a living?”

MARIAH
It’s pretty deep-rooted. I feel like I was always destined to teach sex ed in some way because of my upbringing. I really grew up in like a very conservative, evangelical home where sex was not talked about at all. And if it was, it was from like a purity standpoint, like you’re supposed to save yourself. So I feel like I was always gonna end up here somehow, because I really wanted that information and knew that it would have been helpful for me as a young person. So I think just kind of filling in the gaps as I grew older, like I’m filling in the gaps from schooling or like just experience. So yeah, there wasn’t ever just a light bulb that turned on where I was like, I wanna do this. And in the last few seconds I’ve got you, we need to, I feel, and I think a lot of people living with HIV certainly feel, that this is a topic that really needs to be updated and taught properly in schools. What are some of the hurdles that you’ve faced and what do you think we can do to make sure that there are more people like you, Mariah, talking about U=U at a school level? Because this conquers the stigma too.

KARL
Right, I think all HIV education, I’m in California where we teach a comprehensive curriculum which is supposed to be very progressive, but even so the HIV piece of it, there’s still such a focus on prevention, which can sometimes perpetuate more fear. People are like, I don’t wanna do this, I don’t wanna get this sort of thing. And so it, I don’t know, it can still make it seem like this big scary thing. So I would really love to see there be more conversations about the social-emotional piece, U=U, not just from like the medical side of things, like the The science, the social part of it.

MARIAH
Yeah, I really think students and myself really value the discussions that we can have and acknowledging the history and the impact of media, things like that. Those are the little pieces that we don’t get to talk about a lot in sex ed, but they’re important.

KARL
They certainly are, and the work you do is an important thing as well. Mariah, thank you so much for your time. Mariah’s social is @sexedfiles. We’ll put that up on the screen and we’ll put all of Mariah’s information on the website too. Mariah, thank you so much for your time and the great work you do.

MARIAH
Thank you so much.

KARL
Absolutely, that is gonna do it for this “+TALK.” If you want more information about what we’ve talked about or about Mariah or her social pages, go to the website, pluslifemedia.com. And you can follow us on social media @pluslifemedia. Until next time, be nice to one another. We’ll see you soon, bye-Bye.